All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
