I accidentally had phone sex last night
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
