you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
