R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
