the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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