Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
