oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
