random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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