Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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