That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
