if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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