After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
