he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
