It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
