you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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