TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize