I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
