my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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