what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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