I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i out mim tonsoeep
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