I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
