The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
