i just google imaged poop.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
