What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
