I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you win again, gameday.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're a waste of cheezeits
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
and you fell through a lawn chair
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
