Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
