5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
