the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Drake has all the answers
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
