handjob tips. give me some.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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