I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
