he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
