She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize