I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
