you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
