i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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