Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
