Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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