Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
