So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
