so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
