would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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