Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
