I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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