Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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