don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
