new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
