i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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