I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
