Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
