ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize