yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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