I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
this will be a night to untag.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
