Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
