Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
