just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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