marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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