I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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