We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
and she was petting her beer can
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
