So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
