I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
