Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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