Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
