I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I stole a fireplace last night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
