Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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