Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
