Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
