so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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