I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
