Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize