just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
