A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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