Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
