Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We're too hungover to prance.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
