She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
