your room smells of hookers.
And success
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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