Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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