We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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