Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
