But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
