Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize